Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.