White coat. Heels.
R you on birth control?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!