...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me