nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
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I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.