I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
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The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
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Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys