have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.