I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize