I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Two words: nipple clamps
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