Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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