a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
