marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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