Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Such a big mess for such a small penis
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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