So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
