We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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