is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he shaved USA in his pubs
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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