It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
