go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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