I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
