If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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