last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
