Please, let me fuck your mom
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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