Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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