Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.