You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I could fuck to npr.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
