he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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