you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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