I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
