I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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