you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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