i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
