I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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