mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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