Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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