Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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