Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
