Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
