Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
