i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
