the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
