i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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