No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize