Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They took my balls.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize