found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
