like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
