Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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