it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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