Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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