drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
