We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
