I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
