Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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