Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
