Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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