YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
