Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
