ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
