So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
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purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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