yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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