I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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