I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
