I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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