Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
