So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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