He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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