I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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