What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
