Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
